Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Amateur Scientist Podcast

Brian Thompson has $1,500 in his bank account, or at least that much left on his credit card before it maxes out.  I'll get to this later.

Thompson reported on a French Village, where a large percentage of the population suddenly went mad in 1951.  Some jumped off buildings believing they could fly, while others attacked family and friends.  For years many chalked it up to bad bread from the bakery, but now some theorize it was a CIA plot to test a weapon or a weapon based on LSD malfunctioned.  Thompson discusses how the Mars Hill preacher finds the movie "Avatar" bad, not just because the script came from the back of a cereal box, but because it is pagan in its man/alien/people oneness with nature ideas.  On the positive side, it seems that everyone agrees that "Avatar" was crap, but mighty fine looking crap.  Except without the curvy lines of a nude Kate Winslet as in "Titanic" to distract everybody from the crappy plot.

Thompson read some nutter emails to the Department of Defense that were made public.  The purpose of the email account was for civilian ideas to be sent directly to the DoD for consideration.  I found the emails on the whole all too predictably kooky and ultimately sad.  

Thompson announced a new contest.  A recent study of meals depicted in art through time, in particular the Last Supper with Jesus and his peeps, reveals that as agriculture and economic growth made food more plentiful, the amount of food depicted at the Son of Man's last meal increased.  To Thompson this is evidence that if Jesus had more food to eat, it must mean that Jesus should get more portly in his depiction.  Therefore, Thompson has started a "fat Jesus" picture contest, and the winner will win something.  Breakout the photoshop and the water colors, it's time to get artsy and submit your creation to the Amateur Scientist.

Then there is J.D.Hayworth with a fabulous trip worth all of $1,500 for the taking.  Hayworth was a popular conservative Republican congressman from Arizona who was swept into office during 1994's contract with America election.  He is currently running a primary campaign against incumbent Senator John McCain, who is a former naval aviator, Vietnam War hero, and standard bearer of the Republican Party in the 2008 election.  The Senator lost convincingly to President Obama.  Recently, Hayworth mentioned on a radio talkshow that given the definition of marriage in Massachusetts, a person could wed a horse in that great Commonwealth.  So Thompson is offering to put Hayworth up in Boston for a week and pay his airfare from Arizona to Boston for him to romance and wed a horse.  Thompson even left a voicemail with the Hayworth senatorial campaign announcing his offer.  For some reason, I doubt Congressman Hayworth or anyone on his campaign listens to Amateur Scientist or even knows who Thompson is.   Anyway, Thompson has set aside $1,500 to defray Hayworth's equine marriage should the candidate so choose.  The thing is Thompson can get away with such a contest with Hayworth.  After all, Hayworth is just some politician attempting to unseat an institution in the Senate.  I think if he tried something like this against Senator McCain or the President, men in black suits with plausibly deniable authority would pay him a visit.  The rest I do not wish to consider in any great detail.  Although something tells me  his next show would be from a Federal prison, and he'd be announcing his own prison engagement to a nice man named Butch.

Thompson is still taking voicemail confessionals.  So between the confessionals, the challenge to Hayworth, and the fat Jesus contest, Thompson has himself an interesting few weeks ahead.

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